


Falling Stars

by ShreddieKirin



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alcohol, Boys Kissing, Canon Compliant, Canon Era, Canonical Character Death, Deepthroating, Docking, Gay Male Character, Gay Sex, Hangover, Kissing, M/M, Manipulation, Masturbation, One-Sided Attraction, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Physical Abuse, Sadism, Sex, Spoilers, Uncircumcised Penis, Yandere, Yandere Levi (Shingeki no Kyojin)
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-11-12
Updated: 2018-11-30
Packaged: 2019-08-22 20:44:51
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Major Character Death, Underage
Chapters: 8
Words: 12,263
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16605140
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ShreddieKirin/pseuds/ShreddieKirin
Summary: A story about Levi falling for Eren, and then trying to get Eren to fall for him.A.K.A.  Join me in what has become my adventure to force two characters together while closely following the canon story simply because I enjoy the challenge of it as opposed to actually shipping the characters! :D





	1. Expectation vs. Reality

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Levi beats the shit out of Eren.

    Eren always remembers idolizing Levi ever since he was a child. How couldn’t he? He’d always admired the Survey Corps and everyone in it, but Levi always stood above the rest.

    When Eren first met Levi, well, to be honest, he was mostly focused on other things. He’d been in a coma for three days after plugging the hole that’d been put into Wall Rose and woke up in a dark cell chained to a bed. Of course, he was still a little starstruck when both the top leader of the Survey Corps and his hero walked in, but it’d been forgotten with all of the bombshells Commander Erwin had proceeded to drop on him.

    He had a few days to reflect on it though. It was not how he had wanted to meet his hero. He was locked in a cage like he was less than human, and Levi had treated him as such.

    Now on trial, well, he’s noted that Levi and Erwin are here, but he finds himself more concerned with Armin and Mikasa’s presences. He doesn’t want them seeing him like this or getting involved. His thoughts are quickly turned to other matters though.

    Eren’s mostly patient throughout the trial, but he eventually breaks. It starts with him protecting Mikasa and quickly derails into him spouting his own thoughts which largely consist of insults towards the influential, stuck-up rich people.

    The loud _CRACK_ as the boot hits his face, the force of the blow that sends one of his teeth flying, the rush of pain; he’s kicked again before he’s even realized what’s happening. Even then, it’s not until several hits later when his face is pressed against the cold floor and he hears Levi’s voice does he realize who exactly is beating the shit out of him.

    “This is just my opinion, but I’ve always found pain the most effective punishment,” Levi says to the room.

    Then Levi proceeds to talk directly to him, “The lesson you need to learn right now can’t be taught with words, only with action. And you’re kneeling, which makes you easy to kick.”

    When Levi finally gives him a chance to breathe, Eren looks up at him, absolutely livid. This appears to scare others in the room, but not Levi, who continues administering his “lesson”. When Levi stops, Eren isn’t immediately paying attention to what’s being said. When he tunes in, he hears Levi saying, “He’s not **_my_ ** enemy; is he **_yours_**?”

     _It certainly doesn’t feel like I’m not your enemy,_ Eren thinks bitterly, his head aching as blood drips from his nose and mouth onto the floor.

    “Therefore, in the event that you decide to put him under our control, I would pair him up with Captain Levi as a failsafe.”

     _No!_ he thinks frustratedly. After these events, that’s the last thing he wants. Though, if the alternative is being dissected and killed, then he doesn’t have much choice.

    Thankfully, the Commander-in-Chief places him with the Survey Corps with the warning that he could still be placed with the Military Police Brigade should his accomplishments prove lackluster.

    Later, after the trial, he gets to meet everyone properly. He even gets to shake Erwin’s hand. However, the moment is ruined when Levi flops down next to him on the couch.

    “Tell me, Eren,” Levi states.

    “Y-Yes, sir?!” Eren replies, extremely nervous, partly because he’s being talked to by Levi, but more because the memory of Levi’s swift kicks are still fresh in his mind.

    “Do you resent me?” Levi asks matter-of-factly.

    “N-No sir,” Eren lies. “I know you needed to put on a show.”

    “Very well,” Levi replies simply.

 

    When Levi had been told what the situation was after arriving at Tross, he would’ve been skeptical of the story if not for absolutely everyone, including Dot Pixis, corroborating it. Yet, when he saw the boy in a cell in the dungeon below the courthouse, he found himself being disappointed. Eren really just seemed like your average 15 year old boy. However, when he’d demanded an answer out of him, the determination he’d seen in Eren’s eyes impressed him.

    During the trial, he was once again impressed, this time by his attitude. However, as per the plan, he did proceed to beat the shit out of him for his comments. He didn’t hold back much either, wanting to see how the boy would deal with it. Even still, he’d been surprised to realize his kick had knocked one of the teeth out of the boy’s skull. He’d adjusted his strength accordingly.

    More concerning had been the death glare Eren’s friend, Mikasa, was giving him afterwards.

    “You could’ve shown some restraint! He broke a tooth! Look!” Hange exclaims, showing him the said tooth.

    “I’d say that beats getting dissected any day,” he replies stiffly.

    “Eren, show me your mouth,” Hange says, and Eren obeys, opening his mouth for her. “…huh? It’s growing back.”

    Levi peeks over at Eren, and sure enough it is. The room is silent. After a moment Erwin clears his throat.

    “Well, we need to start making preparations. Hange, Zacharias, stay with him. Levi, come with me.”

    Levi complies, following Erwin out of the room. He ponders the boy some more as they walk.

    “So, what do you think?” Erwin asks, interrupting his thoughts.

    “He’s a teenage brat that has regenerative powers and can turn into a titan,” he says simply. “There isn’t much else to say.”

    After a moment he adds, “Is it just me, or did he seem awfully uncomfortable around me?”

    Erwin chuckles. “Well, you did beat the shit out of him. I’m sure he just needs time to warm up to everyone. You could make an effort to spend some time with him over the next few weeks if it’s concerning you.”

    Levi makes an affirmative noise, but otherwise remains silent. He’s not that concerned about it. It’s just annoying.

    Levi gets the opportunity to spend time with him much sooner than he thought. He’d assumed that both of their schedules would be busy for a while. However, the new HQ ended up needing a lot of cleaning and work.

    “You call that clean?! Do it all again.”

    “Y-Yes sir,” Eren replies, heading back up the stairs. Levi follows him.

    Once they reach one of the rooms, Eren just kind of stands there aimlessly. Levi smacks him upside the head.

    “What the hell?!” Eren demands.

    He hits him again for his insolence.

    “I-I’m sorry sir,” Eren stammers. “It’s just, I’m not sure… What still needs to be done?”

    “Look at the floor. It’s absolutely covered in dirt. Start there,” he states.

    “But it wouldn’t come off,” Eren says.

    He moves to hit him again, however Eren dodges. In response, Levi sweeps him off his feet.

    “Then get down on your knees and scrub, brat,” he snaps, before giving him a kick for good measure.

    He watches as Eren scrambles to obey. What Levi had said during the trial about pain being the best punishment wasn’t an act on his part. He’ll admit, it also just feels nice to hit and kick someone, and it appears he’s found someone who can take his beatings.

    Eren has an attractive body. Levi has noted this before, but it’s especially obvious to him seeing him down on his hands and knees like this. Knowing that at this rate they won’t be done by nightfall, he gets down to help him. Eren looks a little surprised, but doesn’t say anything.

    They spend the day finishing the upstairs rooms, and by the time they’re done, Eren is already not acting so nervous around him.


	2. Awkward

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Levi beats the shit out of Eren again, masterbates, and stops the squad from murdering the boy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If it isn't clear, this chapter is supposed to take place a couple weeks after the first one.

    Eren startles awake as the door to his room opens and closes. It’s Levi, holding a burning oil lantern in one hand which he sets on the dresser.

    “What is it, sir?” he asks drowsily, moving to sit on the edge of the bed.

    “Do you think this is a game?” Levi demands.

    “H-Huh?” he says, confusion clouding his face. He genuinely has no idea what Levi’s talking about.

    Eren doesn’t have time to react as a fist hits his face, knocking him onto the floor. He scrambles to try and get up, but a kick to his stomach sends him reeling. It’s followed up by several hits to his face. He does eventually manage to get up, but he’s quickly sent back to the ground, where he eventually gives up and just lets Levi beat him.

    “W-What did I do?” Eren coughs when there’s a break.

    “Get up, brat,” Levi demands, not answering his question.

    He shakily stands, leaning on the wall. He breathes heavily. He’s not sure just how much more he can take.

    Levi walks until he’s standing right in front of him, and Eren readies himself for another blow. Instead, Levi puts his hands on either side of his head, pulls Eren’s face closer to his own, and kisses him.

    Eren isn’t prepared for this turn of events in the slightest. His face flushes bright red, and he pushes Levi away in panic. He flees from the room, not quite sure where he’s running to. He doesn’t actually care where he’s running, just as long as it’s away from Levi. He eventually arrives at the kitchen cellar and locks himself down there.

     _What the hell just happened?!_ Eren thinks. One moment Levi had been beating the shit out of him and the next he’d been kissing him. He’d been under the impression that the captain really didn’t like him, considering how he’s been treating him. He’s realized that he’s cold towards everyone, but it somehow feels different towards him.

    Maybe, …yeah. Levi was probably just caught up in the moment. It was all a big accident. After all, the captain would never do something like that intentionally.

    He lets out a sigh of relief. He’s still not going to return to his room and face Levi right now. No, that can wait until morning.

 

    Levi stumbles back from the force of Eren’s shove. The boy runs past him and out of the room, the door slamming behind him.

     _Shit,_ Levi thinks. There was no question about it. He’d gone too far. He sighs, looking down at the bulge in his pants. If he wants these kinds of services from Eren, he’ll need to take a different approach.

    Things are probably going to be awkward between them now. Unfortunately, there’s not much he can do about it for the time being.

    He leans back against the wall and frees his erection. He wraps a hand around it and starts stroking it to full hardness. He thinks back to what it was like, beating Eren like that. He hasn’t been able to get him to break down crying yet, sadly.

    “Nhh…”

    He struggles to imagine how Eren would look while crying. He doesn’t have a proper frame of reference. What would those big green eyes look like when filled with tears? What would Eren sound like as he sobs?

    “God, E-Eren,” he moans quietly.

    He’s not sure, but the prospect alone is enough to get him off. It doesn’t take too much longer for him to orgasm, releasing his load onto the floor. He sighs before tucking his dick back into his underwear.

    He takes the time to clean up the blood and cum that got on the floor, before heading to bed. He’s not sure where Eren ran off to, but he’s not concerned. He’s sure he’ll turn up in the morning.

    The next morning, Eren shows up for breakfast like nothing happened. Levi’s even pleasantly surprised when there’s no awkwardness at all between him, although it makes him wonder what Eren thinks happened.

    The main thing scheduled for that morning is an experiment testing out Levi’s method for retrieving Eren from his titan form without killing him. Both Levi and Eren will be participating, with Hange of course running it.

    Hange shoots off the flare, and then they wait, watching the well that Eren’s within.

    After a minute or so with nothing happening, Hange says, “Maybe he didn’t see the signal?”

    “That’s not it,” he states, moving back towards the well. “We’re not dealing with the most reliable guy.”

    “Hey, Eren! We’re calling it off for now,” he shouts.

    They both peer down into the well, Hange asking, “Did something happen?”

    They’re both a bit shocked when they see Eren. Blood is dripping down his arms from his hands, upon which are inflicted open wounds in the shape of bite marks.

    “Squad Leader Hange,” Eren says, “I can’t turn into a titan.”

    “I’ll go grab him,” Levi says, hopping down into the well.

    “I can climb the ladder myself,” Eren protests as he tries to grab him.

    “You are _not_ climbing the ladder with those hands,” he replies, picking him up regardless, before using his vertical maneuvering gear to easily exit the well.

    “Can I take a look?” Hange asks, and Eren shows her his hands. “Hmm, does it-”

    “Come on, let’s walk and talk,” he says, dragging Eren by the arm to the nearby abandoned cottage they’d set up as a medical station.

    Hange continues questioning Eren as Levi sits him down in a chair. He strips off the boy’s blood-stained jacket, then works on cleaning up the blood, before bandaging his hands. When he’s almost done bandaging Eren’s second hand, Hange just stops and looks at the two of them.

    “What?” he asks as he finishes bandaging the hand.

    Hange just smiles and shakes her head, saying, “It’s nothing.”

    “Why don’t you go ahead and start getting lunch started with everyone else?” he suggests.

    “Sure,” Hange replies simply.

    Once she’s left, an awkward silence sets in. Eren seems nervous, and blatantly isn’t making eye contact with him. He’s also trembling.

    “What is it, brat?” he demands.

    Eren flinches, and then shakily asks, “A-Aren’t you going to hit me?”

    “You couldn’t take it right now,” Levi states.

    The boy relaxes a bit and stops trembling. However, it’s still awkward between the two, and he thinks he knows why.

    He opens his mouth to break the silence right as Eren does, “Um…”

    “Yes?” he replies sharply.

    “That, um, thing, last night,” Eren says falteringly, “it _was_ just an accident, right?”

     _I see,_ Levi thinks. _He doesn’t think I did it purposely._

    “Yes,” he lies. “It was an accident.”

    He turns to Eren, a threatening look in his eyes. “And I’m sure you know better than to tell anyone about what happened?”

    The boy’s eyes widen, and he nods affirmatively, saying, “O-Of course, sir!”

 

    Eren sits at a table with the rest of his squad, eating lunch. He’s glad he got that situation with Levi cleared up. Even so, this whole situation of not being able to transform is troublesome. Humanity is depending on it.

    That, and it means his regeneration isn’t working. His hands really hurt. It makes him drop his spoon.

    Huffing in annoyance, he leans over to grab it, shuddering from the pain that runs through his arm. Then there’s a _CRACK_ and he’s engulfed in an explosion of steam.

    He feels panicked as he feels all eyes on him. Even before the steam dissipates, he can tell that part of his titan form has materialized, his arm it feels like.

     **“Calm down.”**

    He looks in the direction of Levi’s voice, where he sees the captain standing between him and the other members of his squad, all of whom have their blades drawn and ready.

    “I’m telling you to calm down. **_All of you,_** ” Levi says firmly.

    His panic begins to set back in as they all begin circling him. They come to a stop once they have him surrounded.

     **“Eren! What the hell?!”** Eld demands.

    “Wha- What?!” he stutters.

    “Why now, without permission?! **Answer me!** ” Eld shouts.

    “Eld, hold on,” Levi says.

    “Answer us, Eren! What’s the idea?!” Oluo screams.

    “No. Save that for later,” Gunther says, walking up to Eren. “Prove you’re not our enemy, no, an enemy of the human race!”

    “Wha-?!” he sputters.

    “ **Prove it now!** It’s your duty!” Gunther demands.

    “Go ahead! That arm so much as twitches, and your head’ll fly off!” Oluo threatens. **“I swear I’ll do it! Wanna try me!?”**

    “Oluo! I said ‘calm down’!” Levi says.

    “ **Captain!** Please move away from Eren! You’re too close!” Petra orders.

    “Listen to me; you’re the ones who should move away! Back off!” Levi demands.

     **_“Why?!”_ ** Petra screams.

    “That’s what my gut tells me,” Levi replies.

    “What’s wrong, Eren!? **Say something!** ”

    “I-”

    “Don’t you make one false move!”

    “Explain yourself! **Now!** ”

    Nobody’s giving him a chance to speak. He feels cornered. They’re treating him like some sort of monster. He feels light-headed and panicked. It feels like there’s something swelling inside him, and that if people don’t stop it’s going to burst.

     **“Eren!”**

    “Answer me!”

    “Are you an enemy of-”

     **_“Hey!”_ **

     **_“SHUT UP!”_ ** Eren finally screams.

    Everyone else tenses and readies themselves, and Eren freezes.

    “Eren! Can I touch that arm?! Pleeaase!” Hange calls, suddenly running at him, shoving Gunther out of the way. “ **Can I?!** It’s okay, isn’t it?! I **can,** right?! I’m just going to _touch it_!”

    “Squad Leader Hange?! Wait a second!” Eren says.

     **“Oooh!”** Hange says eagerly, already touching his arm. **“AH!** **_HOT!_** **”**

    Everyone watches as Hange dances around, talking about how hot his arm is. Thanks to her, the majority of the tension has dissipated.

    “What’s happening to the joint of that right arm?! I’ve just gotta see it!” Hange says excitedly.

     _That’s right!_ he remembers. _If I can just pull my arm out…_

    Eren starts tugging hard at the area where his arm is connected to his titan body. After a bit of tugging, his arm pops out and he rolls off the side, landing next to Levi on the ground.

    “Captain!” he exclaims.

    “How do you feel?” Levi asks.

    Eren looks around at everyone else for a moment before saying, “Not so good.”

    “Can you still ride your horse?” Levi asks.

    “I think so,” he replies as he stands back up.

    Once they all return back to HQ, all that’s left is to wait for Hange.

    “I’m here, so I assume you’re letting me live; and I guess you don’t think I’m a mortal enemy of the human race either,” Eren says to Levi as they wait. “But, being treated with such hostility made me realize just how much they don’t trust me.”

    “Of course they don’t. That’s why I chose them,” Levi replies flatly.

    He looks at Levi, startled by his response.

    Levi continues, “Petra Ral: 10 kills, 48 assists. Oluo Bozado: 39 kills, 9 assists. Eld Jinn: 14 kills, 32 assists. Gunther Schultz: 7 kills, 40 assists. ‘Come back home alive and you’re a full-fledged member’ is the common view in the Survey Corps, but _those people_ have lived through hell again and again, producing results all the way. They’ve learned how to live. When facing a titan, you never know enough. Think all you want. A lot of the time, you’re going into a situation you know nothing about. So what you need is to be quick to act and make tough decisions in worst-case scenarios. Still, that doesn’t mean they’ve got no heart. Even when they had their weapons pointed at you, they had strong feelings. However, they have no regrets.”

    Before Eren has a chance to reply, they’ve all been called by Hange. So, he has to wait until the meeting is over. Once it is, he follows Levi out.

    “What do you want, brat?” Levi snaps.

    “I had a question, sir,” he replies stoically.

    “Spit it out then,” Levi orders.

    “Well, I was wondering if _you_ trusted me,” he asks, not quite so stoically.

    The captain abruptly stops, and then asks, “What makes you think that?”

    “When I transformed, you were trying to keep everyone calm and not let them attack me,” he states.

    “That’s just because I had a bad feeling about it,” Levi replies.


	3. Thief

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Levi stops the female titan from running off with Eren.

    “Captain! Captain Levi!”

    “What?” he replies irritably. He recognizes the tone Eren’s using, and it’s one he despises: the tone of someone questioning his orders.

    Of course, he is the only one present that knows what’s going on.

    “‘What?’ Sir, we’re in the forest! With just the central column here, we can’t detect approaching titans! And something’s coming from our right flank. Sir, how are we supposed to avoid titans and protect the wagons?” Eren asks.

    “Stop whining about the obvious. Of course we can’t do any of that,” he replies.

    “Huh?! W-What are you saying!?” Eren says incredulously.

    Levi wants to smack him.

    “Look around you. These overgrown trees are the perfect environment for vertical maneuvering gear. Now think. Use the modest intellect you do possess. Think hard. Your life depends on it.”

    It’s quiet for a moment, but then there’s a sound from behind.

    “All of you people, draw your swords,” he says.

    He’s keeping a close eye on the titan pursuing them. His squad is all lost in confusion, waiting for his orders. Seeing one of the reinforcements get annihilated shakes them even more.

    “Cover your ears,” he warns, before firing off a sound grenade.

    Then he starts his lecture, “What’s your job? To give in to whatever you happen to feel? I don’t think so. No, this squad’s mission is to keep that little shit from getting so much as a scratch, or die trying.”

    Once those words have sunken in, he says, “We’ll depend on the horses from here on. Got that?”

    His squad reorganizes quickly, to his relief. However, he can still here Eren arguing with the others.

    “You promised, remember?!” he hears Petra say, and with that he immediately knows what Eren’s trying to do.

    “Eren, you’re not wrong. If you wanna do it then go ahead,” he states.

    “Captain?!” Petra says disbelievingly.

    “I know,” he replies. “He’s a true monster. It’s got nothing to do with his titan power. No matter how much he’s held back, no matter what cage he’s in, no one can force him to submit.”

    Levi had known this the moment he’d seen the determination in Eren’s eyes back in that cell. Despite that, he does want to make Eren submit to him, or perhaps that’s exactly why he does. He will get him to as well, and the first step is getting Eren to accept him.

    “The difference between our judgement and yours is _experience_. But, you don’t have to fall back on that. Choose: believe in yourself or believe in me and them, the Survey Corps. I don’t know the answer. I never have. Whether you trust in your own strength, or trust in the choices made by reliable comrades; no one knows what the outcome will be. So, as much as you can, choose whatever you’ll regret the least.”

    Eren falters, debating his choices.

     **“Eren! There’s no time! Choose now!”** he shouts.

     **“I’ll keep going!”** Eren yells back, his voice cracking.

    He lets out a sigh of relief. They really are almost there.

    It’s close, but they make it to the capture point. He quickly orders his last commands, putting Eld in charge, and then joins Commander Erwin.

    The victory doesn’t last long. The female titan escapes. Erwin issues the command to retreat, and Levi goes to reunite with his squad. He follows the sound of Eren’s titan roar, and finds all the dead bodies of his squad on the way. They didn’t stand a chance.

    He eventually finds one girl desperately facing off against the female titan. He grabs her before she can start chasing after the titan again.

    “I’m with you, but back off for now,” he tells her.

    He sets her down and then starts trying to get information out of her. “We’ll maintain this distance. Is it exhausted too? Doesn’t look like it’s moving very fast. Looks like she bit the whole neck out of Eren’s body. Is he dead?”

    The girl gives him a look before saying, “Eren’s alive. I think our target is intelligent. Her objective is to kidnap Eren. If she wanted to kill him, she could’ve crushed him, but instead, she put him in her mouth and is making a fighting retreat.”

    “The objective may have been to eat Eren. In that case, Eren would be in her stomach now, probably dead,” he points out.

     **_“He’s alive,”_ **the girl says, more like she’s refusing to accept anything else than actually believing it.

    “I hope you’re right,” he says simply.

    “This wouldn’t have happened in the first place if you’d done a good job protecting Eren,” she says vindictively.

    It catches him off guard. He looks at her for a bit, and then he remembers where he’s seen her before. She was the one who was giving him the death glare after he beat the shit out of Eren in court.

    “I remember you, from court. Eren’s friend, right?” he asks.

    She doesn’t respond. It’s easy to piece together. During the hearing, it’d been brought up that she and Eren had stabbed three robbers when they were nine. Eren likely saved her life, and she’s given her everything to him since then.

    “I see,” he says.

    Yeah, she hates his guts. Fair enough, since they could possibly end up being rivals.

    “We’ll focus on one objective. First, give up on killing the female titan,” he says.

    “How many of our comrades has she murdered?” she asks.

    “As long as that titan has the ability to harden its skin, killing it is impossible. Trust me,” he states. “We’ll bet everything on the chance that Eren is still alive, and we’ll rescue him before that thing can clear the forest. I’ll slash away at the titan; you draw its attention.”

    It doesn’t go exactly as planned. The titan doesn’t fall for the bait. It doesn’t matter though. He simply slashes down her arm and then blinds her. Then he cuts her leg muscles, causing her to fall; he cuts her arm so she can no longer protect her nape. Unfortunately, Mikasa tries to take the opportunity to kill her.

    He pushes Mikasa out of the way as the titan’s hand comes swinging up. Pain shoots through his leg as the hand hits it. Despite the pain, he pushes off the hand and slashes open the titan's jaw. Her mouth falls open, and there’s Eren, unconscious and coated in saliva. He quickly grabs the boy.

    “Hey! We’re getting out of here!” he yells to Mikasa.

    “Eren!” she calls out to him, seemingly relieved.

    “He’s okay! Alive anyway. Dirty though,” he says. “Forget about her, we’re leaving!”

    As he looks back at the female titan, he notices her crying. Rage boils inside him. _What right have you got to cry?!_ he thinks. _You killed off my entire squad and tried to steal_ _my_ _boy!_


	4. Levi's Life is Hard

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Levi has an emotional breakdown and can't do anything because Mikasa got him injured.

    “You called me, sir?” Eren asks.

    It hasn’t even been a full day since Eren’s returned from the exhibition. He’s been called down to Levi’s room, though for what reason he’s unsure.

    The captain’s room is much nicer than his, though this comes as no surprise. He is the Survey Corps’ best soldier. It’s more spacious, with a bigger bed and its own private bathroom. It’s also very clean, but that was to be expected.

    Levi gets up, closes and locks the door behind him, and then punches Eren in the face. He doesn’t try to resist as the older man continues beating him up; at this point he knows better.

    “C-Captain?” he says timidly a bit later from where he’s backed against the wall.

    Levi pauses expectantly.

    “What did I do wrong this time?” he asks.

    He watches as Levi looks away from him, a sort of distraught look in his eyes.

    “I-, you didn’t…” Levi falters. “You didn’t do anything wrong.”

    “I didn’t?” Eren asks, now feeling confused.

    Suddenly, Levi grabs his arms and buries his face into his chest. Eren stands stock still, heat gently creeping up his cheeks as he listens to the captain’s shuddery breaths.

     _Oh god, is he going to cry?!_ he thinks. _How would I even deal with that? How do I deal with this?!_

    “I-I should probably go,” he states nervously. “It’s getting pretty late.”

    It was actually already getting late when he’d been called down here. He tries to gently push the captain off of him, and Levi deals a sucker punch to his jaw in response. Eren notes that tears have gathered at the corners of his eyes.

    “You’re staying here! Understand, brat!?” Levi shouts, his voice cracking.

    “F-For the night?” Eren asks shakily.

    Levi pauses, seeming to think about that.

    “Y-Yes, for the night,” the captain confirms, releasing him. “Go grab yourself a spare change of clothes. I don’t think I need to tell you what will happen if you fail to return?”

    “N-No sir!”

    Eren returns ten minutes later. He’s let in by Levi, who’s already changed into sleepwear.

    “You’re showering before you even go anywhere near my bed,” Levi warns.

    “W-Wait! We’re going to be sharing the bed?!” he stammers.

    “Yes. Now go shower,” Levi orders.

    Eren decides not to argue, and so just heads into the bathroom. When he comes back out, Levi’s already in bed. He’s left him plenty of space, and the bed is pretty big, so he doesn’t feel too reluctant getting in. As soon as he gets situated, the older man embraces him.

    “C-Captain!” he sputters, face turning bright red.

    “Don’t- just, _please._ You’re the only one left,” Levi says weakly.

    Eren doesn’t say or do anything as Levi starts crying.

     _“… Petra. I-I’m so sorry… I c-couldn’t…”_

    Guilt tears through Eren. Levi was much closer to his squadmates than he was, and now they’re all dead because of him.

    “I’m sorry,” he whispers.

    “It’s not your fault,” Levi says gently.

 

    After that night, Levi didn’t see Eren again until two days before they’d be escorted to the capital.

    “Captain, you’re pretty talkative today,” Eren commented.

    “Don’t be stupid. I’ve always been talkative,” he snapped.

    He said that, but in reality he had just been trying to conceal his own emotions. He hadn’t wanted Eren to see how much he wanted him; how much he was dreading handing him over to the Military Police Brigade.

    “I’m sorry,” Eren said. “Back then, if only I hadn’t made the wrong choice. Things might have been different. Even you were injured.”

    “I told you, no one knows how things will turn out,” he stated.

    Thankfully, Erwin walked in barely a moment later, along with several other people. He presented a plan to both capture the female titan and stop the summons. Levi was overjoyed, even though he didn’t show it. There was only one issue.

    “Hey, kid. I keep on hearing about how you _think_ you’ve found someone who _might_ be the female titan, but do you have any other evidence?” he asked.

    “Yes,” Armin replied, clearly trying think of something.

    “To me, the female titan’s face looked like Annie’s,” Mikasa said simply.

    “In other words, we don’t have any proof, but we’re doing it anyway,” he stated.

    The look on everyone’s faces confirmed it. That wasn’t his issue with the plan though. His issue with the plan is that he was given absolutely _nothing_ to do. Of course it makes sense that he would stay with the escort party, what with the injury he’s still recovering from. That doesn’t make it any less frustrating.

    All he can do is watch from afar. Why did he even bother saving Mikasa? If he hadn’t saved her, he could be out there fighting. He knows he made the right choice in saving her though. If he hadn’t saved her when he could, Eren would never forgive him.

    It doesn’t take too long until news has come of success. He’s disappointed though, upset even. They captured the person who dared try to take Eren, and he can’t even do anything to them. What a joke.

    As if that isn’t bad enough, when he’s called back out, it’s to news that Wall Rose has been breached. He can’t even help with that. Instead he’s put in charge of watching some hypocritical minister.

    Though, he will admit, seeing the look on the minister’s face when they enter Ehrmich District is priceless. However, that’s also quickly ruined when the Military Police Brigade comes to the district and he’s essentially in charge of babysitting them as well.

    Hours later, when it’s become early morning, the advance party returns with the news that Eren’s been kidnapped.

    Levi has never hated his life as much as he does right now. He can’t do _anything_. Everyone else gets to go and rescue him, and he has to stay here in Ehrmich District, babysitting a fucking wallist minister.


	5. The Fall

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Levi realizes he's fallen for Eren and gets Eren drunk.

    When Levi learns that Eren’s been recovered, he’s incredibly relieved. If he could have immediately grabbed him and checked his condition he would have. However, Commander Erwin had been injured in the mission, and as his second-in-command, he is in charge when Erwin is out of commission. His schedule is suddenly very full, and it’s a struggle to get any free time, much less make time for Eren. Despite that, he manages.

    “I’m assembling a new Squad Levi,” Levi says. “I would like your input on who should be in it.”

    Eren looks at him with a shocked expression.

    “M-Me?!”

    “Yes you, brat,” he replies. “You know the members of the 104th Training Corps better than I do.”

    “Well, there’s Mikasa Ackerman. She got head of the class. Armin Arlert isn’t all that athletically inclined, but he’s incredibly smart,” Eren starts. “Connie Springer is a real natural when it comes to using the vertical maneuvering equipment, and Sasha Blouse is really good at tracking. Jean Kirstein is a good all-rounder.”

    He nods. Those were who he’d been thinking of anyway, but he felt compelled to run it by Eren. After all, he is all that’s left of Squad Levi other than himself. That, and he needed some plausible excuse for calling him down here.

    “Is that all you needed, sir?” Eren asks.

    “Take a seat,” he says, pointing to the small table he has in the corner of his room.

    “…Sir?” Eren asks as he sits.

    “Yes?” he responds, taking the seat across from him.

    “If you don’t mind me asking, why are we in your room? Wouldn’t it make more sense to be doing this in your office?” Eren asks.

    “I’ve actually been working out of Erwin’s office since I don’t have an official office here,” he explains, “but that’s beside the point. Right now I would just like to have a normal, non-work related conversation with someone.”

    It seems to take Eren a moment to realize that that someone he’s talking about is him.

    “Oh, uhh…” Eren trails off, clearly trying to think of a topic. “How’s Erwin doing? You guys are close, right?”

    “Not really. He’s just my boss,” he replies. “He’s hanging in there though. It’ll take more than a lost arm to shake him. How are you holding up?”

    “Alright, I suppose. I’m still a bit shaken up about Reiner and Bertolt, I guess,” Eren says. “What about you though? How are you doing?”

    “I’m stressed out and exhausted,” he states. “This is all reminding me exactly why I never want to be completely in charge.”

    “Is there anything you like doing to unwind and relax?” Eren asks.

    He pauses, before admitting, “I like writing poetry.”

    He’s fully prepared to smack Eren as soon as he shows the slightest hint of patronization, but to his surprise, the boy doesn’t.

    “That’s really cool,” Eren says. “My dad taught me to read and write since he was a doctor, but I’ve always been bad at it.”

    Levi’s surprised by this. Whenever anyone finds out about his hobby, they tend to think of him as a snob for it. It frustrates him, considering the majority of them are illiterate.

    “I envy you,” Eren continues. “I wish I had something like that. I feel like all I can ever do is just sit around feeling all wound up.”

    “Is there anything you’re particularly passionate about?” he asks.

    “I like killing titans,” Eren says jokingly, “but no, I haven’t really found anything.”

    “Hmm,” he states thoughtfully. “We should find you something.”

    “‘We’?” Eren repeats quizzically.

     _Shit,_ Levi thinks. _I can’t take it back now though._

    “Yes, ‘we’,” he confirms. “As in the squad.”

    “Oh, okay,” Eren replies.

    Glancing up at the clock, he sees he needs to wrap things up.

    “You can leave now,” he says. “I have another thing I need to tend to.”

    He watches as the boy leaves. Once he’s gone, Levi runs a hand through his hair and sighs, then lightly laughs to himself. He really thought he just had some sort of fascination with Eren, but somehow the kid has actually made him fall for him. He wants to pin him down, love him, and beat the shit out of him if he ever tries to leave. Actually, he wants to beat the shit out of him anyway. He wants to make that kid his.

    It is going to be tricky. Eren doesn’t truly open up to other people easily, something which they both have in common. Furthermore, he’s pretty sure Eren doesn’t harbor an ounce of attraction towards him. The reactions the boy has given in certain situations also seems to imply that he has either never been in a relationship before or he is really just that uncomfortable around men.

    There’s also the matter of age. He is much older than Eren, and it could very possibly be putting him off. The boy isn’t actually even legal, but Levi’s never really cared about that age stuff; when either one of the partners can die at anytime, it seems stupid to wait for an arbitrary number.

    He needs to figure out what Eren’s past experiences are and what he likes, and he knows the perfect way to loosen up his tongue will be a bit of alcohol.

    Despite all odds, he manages to finish his duties early one day, leaving him with a few hours of free time. He even manages to get his hands on some nice brandy before inviting Eren down to his room.

    “What did you need, sir?” Eren asks.

    “I just wanted to take some time to celebrate,” he says, pouring two glasses of the brandy and giving one to Eren.

    “Celebrate what?” Eren asks.

    “The reformation of Squad Levi,” he states, clinking their glasses and then taking a drink of his.

    “Oh. Why with me though?” Eren asks.

    “You’re the only other senior member of the Squad,” he explains. “Now c’mon, take a drink. This is even the good stuff.”

    Only a glass later and Eren’s already a bit tipsy. Levi had picked a stronger alcohol, but it’s not that strong. He’s only had a glass too and is only a little buzzed, meaning the boy’s just a lightweight. Not that he’s really complaining. It means they can get down to business much faster.

    “I didn’t think you were this social a guy, Captain,” Eren says.

    “I’m like the opposite of a social drinker: instead of only drinking in social situations, I’m only social when I drink,” he replies, causing Eren to chuckle.

    “I wouldn’t really know,” Eren replies. “To be honest, this is only like the second time I’ve had alcohol.”

     _I can tell,_ he thinks.

    “So, what’s your relationship with Mikasa?” he asks.

    “Mikasa? Me and her are just childhood friends. Everyone seems to think we’re in a relationship or something though,” Eren says.

    “Have you ever been in a relationship?” he asks.

    “Yeah,” Eren replies. “Back in the settlement I was with this girl for a while. I guess a lot of people wouldn’t have called her cute exactly, but I really liked her.”

    “How far did you get with her?” he asks.

    “Well, we kissed and stuff, but we never slept together or anything,” Eren explains. “What about you? I’m sure you’ve been in a lot of relationships, huh?”

    “A few,” he replies.

    “I bet they were all really pretty women as well,” Eren remarks.

    “I actually don’t swing that way,” he says.

    Eren processes this for a moment before exclaiming, “Wait, you’re gay?!”

    Levi smacks him and says, “There’s no need to make such a big deal out of it.”

    A couple glasses later and Eren’s practically wasted. Levi’s also started to pretty tipsy.

    “You know, I’m actually a real sucker for romance,” Eren explains.

    “Really?” he replies with interest.

    “Yeah, really!” Eren exclaims.

    The boy turns to look at him, and then goes, “You’re really short.”

    He can’t help but laugh at how out of nowhere the remark is, even though comments about his height tend to irritate him.

    “Can you stand up? I wanna see just how different in height we are,” Eren says, getting up himself.

    He can’t find it in himself to reject the boy’s childlike enthusiasm, and so he nods and stands up. Eren moves so that they’re less than an inch apart.

    “Wow,” Eren remarks. “I really feel like I could just lift you up.”

    “Don’t even–”

    Eren wraps his arms around his waist and attempts to lift him. He knees him hard in response. Eren stumbles backwards, and his drunken lack of coordination causes them both to topple over. Levi’s cheeks flush as he realizes only too late that the combination of alcohol and close proximity with Eren has given him an erection.

    “Oh, um,” Eren laughs a little, and Levi turns his head away in embarrassment. “Hey, don’t worry about it. That’s a thing that can just happen when you’re drunk, right?”

    He’s actually kind of speechless. He’s unsure if Eren is being naive or is just that fucking innocent.

    “Here, uh,” Eren says, getting out from under him. “I’ve got to use the bathroom real quick, but then you can go do whatever you need to do.”

    He watches as the boy goes into his bathroom, and then tries to ignore the sound of him pissing. Eren exits a moment later, and he enters it. He feels a sense of relief when he sees that Eren, despite his drunken state, somehow managed to not make a mess. He steps into the shower, frees his dick, and starts stroking.

    Eren really is such a brat. It makes him want to fuck him until he can’t even talk properly. He imagines watching him scream and writhe beneath him as he roughly thrusts his cock in and out of his ass, hand wrapped around the boy’s length. Perhaps Eren might bite his lip as he tries not to sob when he hits his prostate.

    Levi bites his own lip as he tries not to make any noise that Eren might be able to hear. Alternatively, he could force his cock down the boy’s throat so he’s too busy choking to be able to say anything. He tries to imagine what the tight, wet feeling of having his member encased in Eren’s throat would be like. When he’s not quite getting it, he spits into his hand. He lets out a throaty groan as he continues.

    “Oh, Eren,” he moans quietly. “Mmh, that’s it.”

    He tilts his head back, basking in this feeling. He bites his lip as he feels his orgasm approaching, and shudders run through his body as he empties his load into the tub. Once he’s done, he puts his dick back in his pants and washes his mess down the drain.

    Levi exits the bathroom, ready to tell Eren that he should head back to his room to get some sleep, only to find the boy passed out on his bed, still in his clothes. He sighs, too tired to really be angry. He does go to the trouble of removing Eren’s shoes before he changes into proper sleepwear and crawls under the covers. He promises himself that he’ll clean his bedding tomorrow.

 

    Eren wakes up when he feels movement beside him. He has a god awful headache, and he groans with discomfort.

     _Where am I? What happened?_ he wonders. He’s certainly not in his room.

    “You awake, brat?”

    He grimaces at the voice that sounds too loud.

    “Wha…?” he questions.

    “How do you feel?”

    “Like absolute shit,” he replies.

    There’s a sigh.

    “Look, I can’t spend all morning babysitting you. I’m going to go shower. I’ll leave the door unlocked, so if you feel like you need to vomit, do it in the toilet.”

    He grunts affirmatively at the familiar-sounding voice.

    Like a minute later he finds himself rushing into the bathroom and violently throwing up into the toilet, and thank god the seat was already up.

    “Do you think that I can stay in here ‘til you’re done?” he asks weakly.

    Another sigh. “Yeah, sure.”

    “Thanks,” he replies. “I don’t really know why I feel so sick…”

    “You’re really fucking hungover, that’s why. If I’d known you were such a fucking lightweight, I wouldn’t have let you have so much.”

    “Oh,” he says simply.

    Eren just sits there, listening to the running water and breathing in the steam. When the water eventually turns off, he reluctantly hauls himself up on his feet and leaves the bathroom. A moment later Levi steps out wearing only a towel. He doesn’t really have it in himself to feel flustered about it. He turns away from the older man to give him some privacy.

    “What happened last night?” he asks.

    “Nothing really. We just did a lot of talking,” Levi replies.

    Eren thinks back to the previous night, trying to remember what they talked about. The only real important thing he remembers them discussing is relationship experience. He remembers Levi mentioning he was gay, he thinks.

    “Go take a shower. It’ll make you feel better,” Levi says. “I’ll go get you some clean clothes to change into and some breakfast.”

    “Okay,” he says, heading to the bathroom.

    One shower later, and he does feel quite a bit better. The breakfast Levi has brought him is pretty standard, and it looks like he’s barely even started on his when he comes out. He sits down at the small table across from the captain where his food is and starts eating.

    “Do you know what day it is today?” Levi asks.

    He isn’t coming up with anything and looks at the captain blankly. Levi sighs.

    “Today’s the day you and the rest of the squad are heading to the new hidden location,” Levi supplies. “Hope you feel up to it, because you don’t have a choice.”

     _“Fuck,”_ he mutters under his breath.

    “I won’t be coming along either,” Levi warns. “When I show up, I do expect everything to be prepared and ready.”

    “Yes sir,” he replies obediently.

    Rather predictably, nobody takes him seriously when he tells them that the place needs to be absolutely spotless. Needless to say, Levi would be disappointed as well.

    However, it also feels like ever since the captain found out that he might be able to repair the walls very easily, he’s been putting an enormous amount of pressure on him. So of course, when it turns out that he doesn’t have the hardening ability, things go south pretty quick.

    “It was a real disappointment to us, and everyone’s been miserable today because of it. We can’t let any more time go to waste. What’s next? Titans might rise up out of the ground, maybe they’ll come raining down from the sky; and humanity’s still a pack of toothless prey animals. In any case, we’re in a shitty situation,” Levi says mercilessly.

     _Thanks,_ Eren thinks. _It’s not like I wasn’t already feeling terrible._

    “Eren did everything he could,” Mikasa says.

    “But so what? Why does it matter that he _tried_ his _best_? Right now he can’t close that hole,” Levi replies.

    “But, blaming Eren for that…” Mikasa says.

    “Hold on. I’m just being an asshole. I’m not blaming him,” the captain protests. “Going over our shortcomings and bitching about our situation is an important ritual.”

    Although he says he’s not blaming him, it still really feels like he is, and he may also be blaming himself as well. He must have picked up on that, since later, when everyone’s left and he’s just alone in his bed, Levi comes to talk to him.

    “Sorry about earlier,” Levi says. “I really wasn’t trying to blame you. I was just… not happy with the situation.”

    “Thanks, I guess,” Eren replies.

    It actually feels really nice hearing the captain apologize to him, although he thinks he’d feel better if Levi would beat the shit out of him. He feels like he deserves it.

    “It really isn’t your fault. If you can’t do it, then you can’t do it,” Levi continues.

    “That’s not all that reassuring,” he states.

    The captain huffs. “What do you want me to say or do here?”

    “I, do you think you could–”

    “Could what?” Levi snaps.

    “Beat me.”

    This request seems to take the older man aback. After a moment, he says, “Fine. Not here though, and not now.”

    “I’ll come get you when the time is right,” he says before leaving.

    The captain comes and gets him after night has fallen. He doesn’t need to tell Eren to be as quiet as humanly possible. He leads him downstairs and down into the cellar. A couple of candles have already been lit within the small space.

    “Are you sure about this?” Levi asks.

    Eren nods, and the captain strikes him without any hesitation. He revels in the punishment he’s dealt, because he deserves it. He deserves it for failing humanity.

    “Thank you,” he ends up saying periodically throughout.

    When it’s over, Levi takes him back upstairs to his bed, and they don’t say another word to each other.


	6. The Author Done F*cked Up

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I fuck up.

    Eren couldn’t help but feel rather sick, and by looking around the table he could easily tell everyone else felt the same way. He thinks that’s the natural reaction to listening to someone being tortured.

    Hange, well, he can fully understand why she’s one of the torturers. She has an enormous grudge against the people being tortured. However, it was also clearly her first time. Levi on the other hand, he could tell immediately that this wasn’t his first time, far from it. It scares him a little.

    “I can’t. There’s no way,” Historia says.

    “Yeah, if you walked up to someone and told them to become the ultimate ruler of humanity, not too many people would have the nerve to look you back in the eye and say, ‘Sure.’,” Levi replies. “But that doesn’t matter. _Do it._ ”

    “I’m unfit for the role,” Historia remarks.

    “So no?” Levi asks.

    “I-I’m unfit…”

    Levi grabs her by the collar of her shirt and lifts her violently.

    “Fine. Then run. Run away from us as fast as you can, because we’re going to do anything and everything to make you do what we want,” Levi says. “Looks like this is your destiny. If you don’t like it, fight. Beat me back.”

    Then he drops her. The other squad member are objecting to his treatment of her, but Eren just stands there, speechless.

    “What do you see yourselves doing tomorrow?” Levi asks. “Will you have food on your tables? Do you think you’ll get a good night’s rest in your beds? Will those around you still be there tomorrow?”

    There’s a moment of silence as Levi’s words sink in.

    “I never think so, and I doubt normal people think about these things on a daily basis. So that means I’m abnormal, probably because I’ve seen far too many abnormal things. But, if Wall Rose were breached tomorrow and we faced an emergency, I’d be faster than any of you to react and to fight. I’ll fight, even if I have to face that hell again tomorrow. You’ve all seen some terrible things too, and there might very well be more waiting for you tomorrow. I want to put an end to that recurring nightmare, right now. There are those who would get in my way. But, I’m fine playing the role of the lunatic who kills people like that. I have to be ready to rearrange some faces because I choose the hell of people killing each other over the hell of being eaten. At least that way, _all_ of humanity doesn’t have to be damned,” he explains.

    “Of course, there’s another way. If we could simply seize control of this world, then a lot of people who would’ve died will live. That’d be nice, right? It’s all up to you Historia. Follow? Or fight? I don’t care which. Just, **CHOOSE ONE RIGHT NOW! WE DON’T HAVE ANY TIME!** ”

     **_“I’LL DO IT!”_ ** Historia screams. “The next role I have to play is queen? Fine. Leave it to me.”

    “Alright, stand. We’re counting on you, Historia.”

    Eren feels a bit overwhelmed. He’s never seen this cruel side of his captain before.

 

**AUTHOR’S NOTE**

The first thing I would like to do is explain how I’ve been writing this fanfiction. You see, I’ve been writing it as I’ve been reading the manga. This is part of the reason why new bits will be added onto chapters: I hadn’t read that part and then decided that the pacing would work better if I attached it to an already posted chapter. This is also why the fic is closely following the storyline. The reason I’m bringing it up is because if you’ve gotten this far in the manga (I don’t think the anime is this far at the time I’m writing this), you know that this is where everything really hits the fan. Due to the way the plot unfolds, I feel it’s very difficult to link the above section with the natural next section in Levi’s and Eren’s relationship. Basically, right after the above scene, Eren gets kidnapped (again), is separated from Levi for a relatively long time, and then gets some earth-shattering revelations dropped on him. The manga also goes into detail about Levi’s backstory at the same time. I don't want to give the impression that nothing happened between the last chapter and the next. I may think of a way to come fix this all at some point later, but until then, we're stuck with this.

 

_** TL;DR ** _

A bunch of shit happens making it really non-conducive to link this part of the story to the next, but I don’t want to give the impression that nothing happened between the last chapter and the next, so I’ve written this thing to say I done fucked up.


	7. Good Night

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Levi confesses to Eren and they do the sex.

    Eren looks at Levi. The looming threat hangs over everything; the slow building dread and anticipation for dawn. Levi had pulled him aside from everyone else to a more secluded area, saying he needed to tell him something.

    “Eren, I need to tell you something,” Levi says again. “I don’t expect an answer right now. Take all the time you need.”

    He waits expectantly.

    Levi takes a deep breath before saying in his regular, monotone voice, “Eren, I’m in love with you.”

    He doesn’t say anything at first, but after a moment he says uncertainly, “Is this supposed to be a joke?”

    Levi hits him in the face probably the hardest he ever has before walking off. Eren just stands there for a bit, dumbfounded. If he’s being completely honest, he really didn’t need this right now. He’s already dealing with an existential crisis, and now he’s expected to deal with a love confession on top of that? From Levi no less!?

    He decides to push this out of his mind for now. He has enough on his plate at the moment, and with another battle coming up, he has no time to be distracted.

    A few days later after everything has passed, Eren still hasn’t really given Levi’s confession any thought. He returns to his room, ready for a good night’s sleep, only to find Levi waiting there for him.

    “Oh, do you need something Captain?” he asks tiredly.

    The older man is acting antsy, something he wasn’t even aware Levi was capable of.

    “Eren, I need an answer,” Levi says simply.

    “I thought you said I could take as much time as I needed?” he says, confused.

    “I’ve realized how unrealistic I was being when I said that,” Levi replies.

    “To be honest, I’ve had so much stuff on my plate that I haven’t even given it much thought,” he says.

    Levi frowns at this. It occurs to him that the older man probably isn’t used to having his words not always be on the forefront of someone’s mind, especially with something like this. Eren sighs, sitting down on his bed and leaning down to start untying his boots.

    “I mean, a lot of stuff has happened,” he says simply. “I can’t just make a decision like that. I need time to digest everything.”

    Levi is standing right in front of him, seemingly searching his face. He would be lying if he said it didn’t make him a little uncomfortable. Levi sighs and moves to leave before stopping at the doorway.

    “You have until tomorrow night,” Levi states before exiting.

    Fast forward to the next night, and Eren once again finds Levi waiting for him when he returns to his room. He wordlessly goes over and sits on the edge of his bed. He meets the captain’s expectant gaze for a moment before needing to look away.

    “Captain,” he starts.

    “Call me Levi.”

    “What?” he says.

    “Call me Levi,” the older man insists, “when we’re alone, at least.”

    He simply nods. “Levi, I-I’m sorry but…, well, my answer is ‘no’.”

    He looks back up to Levi’s face, and god does he look absolutely pissed. His eyes widen a little.

    “No, I, uh-” He swallows hard and looks back down at his feet, muttering, “You deserve someone a whole lot better than me.”

    “What was that?” Levi snaps.

    “You deserve someone so much better than me!” he says, louder. “You’re strong! You’re smart! You’re humanity’s greatest asset! I-I’m, my existence is responsible for most of humanity’s problems. I don’t even deserve to be here.”

    Levi walks up to him and hits him in the face.

    “You are such a fucking moron,” Levi starts. “Firstly, I am not nearly as great as you make me out to be. Secondly, you are not responsible for all of humanity’s problems. Thirdly, if you didn't deserve to be here you’d be gone already.”

    Levi looks him in the eye, daring him to challenge what he’s said. When he doesn’t, Levi continues his lecture.

    “Listen, I am _not_ going to let you reject me because _you_ don’t feel like you’re good enough. _I_ decide whether you’re good enough. So, if you don’t have any issues with _me_ , I see no reason why anything else can’t be worked out.”

    “But I’m–” he starts.

    Levi claps his hands on his shoulders, saying threateningly, “Don’t you dare say you’re not good enough.”

    He falters, before saying, “but I’m not.”

    The older man smacks him again, then smashes his lips against Eren’s. Eren tenses up, before deciding not to fight it. He doesn’t kiss back though. Levi pushes him down onto the bed, moving so he’s on top of him. When he pulls away, Eren doesn’t meet his gaze.

    “Eren, look at me,” Levi orders.

    He reluctantly obeys.

    “I’ve had my eye on you since that court hearing,” Levi confesses. “Every time you’ve gotten kidnapped or hurt, I’ve wanted to beat the ever-living shit out of whoever did it. I genuinely crave and enjoy your company.”

    “And right now, I want to rip off your clothes and fuck you until you can’t even stand up,” Levi says with a predatory edge, causing Eren to blush wildly.

    “I don’t care if you think you’re good enough for me. I want you, _and I get what I want._ ”

    The way Levi says that last sentence gives Eren the impression that “no” never really was an option. He swallows nervously.

    “I guess it wouldn’t hurt to give this a try,” he says.

    Levi releases a breath before leaning down and kissing him again. After a moment, he starts tentatively kissing back. They do that for a little bit, and then Levi slides his tongue into his mouth. Eren’s not quite sure what to do about it. He’d never actually gotten to this with the girl he’d been with. He’d wanted to, but she’d never seemed into it. Meanwhile, he and Levi have gotten to it almost immediately.

    Levi pulls away after a moment, instead moving to press kisses at his neck. He begins to object, but then changes his mind when he realizes the captain has been getting hard. He’s certain that Levi has no intention of leaving until he’s been satisfied.

    Levi starts stripping off his clothes. Once his chest is exposed, he traces his hands over his abdomen and the defined muscles there.

    “Um, S-S– I mean, Levi, I’m not really feeling anything,” he admits.

    Looking into Levi’s face, he can tell that they both know that he feels absolutely no attraction towards him. The older man doesn’t say anything, just continues his work.

    Then, like a shock of electricity, arousal shoots to his dick when Levi thumbs one of his nipples. It must have been evident on his face, as the older man wears the shadow of a grin, a smirk even, and takes the nub between his fingers. He throws his head back, cheeks flushed a deep red, as Levi rolls and pinches it. He’s rapidly getting harder, and he can feel his erection pressing against Levi’s.

    “L-Levi!” he stammers as the captain leans down and takes his other, neglected nipple in his mouth. He feels his face turning redder than it already was, to the point where he knows he must look ridiculous.

    He lets out a startled noise when Levi gently grinds down on his crotch. After a moment the captain pulls away. He works on removing the rest of his clothing, until Eren’s left lying naked beneath him. Eren looks away as he sees Levi looking at his semi-erect cock. He looks back when he hears the shifting of fabric. The older man has freed his own erection. He moans as Levi rubs their dicks together, wrapping his hand around them. It’s not long before he’s fully hard. The older man thrusts into it, and he moans louder.

    He can’t help but note how much bigger his own dick is. _Is the captain’s small? Or am I just big?_ he wonders. Levi isn’t giving him any hints to what the answer is.

    “What are you doing?” Levi demands. “You have to move your hips.”

    Eren obeys, thrusting into the older man’s hand. Levi sighs, before leaning back in to kiss him, or his neck and jaw at least. After a moment, Eren reluctantly tilts his head up, and Levi is immediately assaulting his lips. Moans and sighs intermingle with the sound of their lips and tongues conversing.

    “Oh, Eren…” Levi groans, “fuck. I’m gonna cum.”

    A moment later and Levi’s seed spills onto Eren’s dick and crotch. Levi sits for a second, panting, then fixes his gaze on Eren’s hardened member.

    “Oh, uh, it’s fine. You don’t have to–”

    “Shut up,” Levi says sharply.

    Eren watches as Levi moves down to his dick and pulls back the foreskin. He proceeds to shudder as the older man licks the head of his cock, before taking it into his mouth. He tightens his hands around the sheets, trying to contain the urge to grab the captain’s head. After a moment he feels what he knows can only be Levi deep-throating him. Moans bordering on cries, he instinctively thrusts his hips. Levi immediately pulls away, releasing his dick as he gags.

    “Don’t do that. You’re too big; gonna make me throw up,” the older man warns.

    Eren nods, and Levi takes his member back into his mouth and down his throat. He moans loudly, and, after a moment of hesitation, he gently puts his hand on the captain’s head. Levi doesn’t stop him, only continues his ministrations.

    “L-Levi!” he cries out as he orgasms, blushing hard as his cum pours down the older man’s throat.

    “I’ll go grab you some warm water to clean up with,” Levi says once he’s come back down.

    He watches as the older man leaves before thinking about what just happened. He’s not going to try and deny that the experience was enjoyable. He has never felt as good as Levi made him feel tonight. He has other concerns though. He’s not sure if he’ll always be able to get it up. He’s certain the captain is an attractive man; he himself just doesn’t find him so.

   He still doesn’t feel like he’s good enough for Levi either, but the captain clearly doesn’t feel that way. Obviously Levi would know his own feelings better than Eren would, but he still can’t help but feel anxious about it.

    Levi returns with a pitcher of warm water and a rag and helps him get cleaned up. Eren tells him he doesn’t need his help, but the captain just tells him to shut up.

     _Glad to see he still doesn’t trust my cleaning skills,_ he can’t help but think.

    Once finished, Levi wishes him a good night and leaves.


	8. Sacrifice and Responsibility

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The operation to retake Wall Maria is launched, and Levi makes a selfish decision.

    Levi has been a lot happier after the revolution. There’s been so much less stress, everyone seems happier, and of course, he and Eren are in a relationship.

    Levi is not stupid nor is he naive. He is fully aware that getting Eren to agree to being in a relationship was only the first step. No matter how much he loves the boy, Eren still doesn’t love him back yet. Over the past two months, they’ve gotten to know each other better. He’s been trying to help Eren through the memories of his past that he’s recovered, but Eren doesn’t want to open up to him.

    He hasn’t gotten intimate with Eren again since that night. At the time, all his feelings for Eren were pent up, and looking back on it, he regrets forcing his sexual feelings on Eren like that. He has apologized, of course, but he knows it won’t fully repair the damage his actions did, if at all.

    It’s not long before the plan to take back Wall Maria is set in stone, and he can’t help but feel anxious about it. A big part of that is because Commander Erwin insists on coming. Although he doesn’t especially like his superior, there’s no denying that he’s a brilliant leader.

    As long as he can keep an eye on Eren, he’s sure he can get through it.

    “I’m glad we went to see the instructor. Whether I’m energetic or not, I plan on doing what needs to be done. But, yeah. I feel better. I was so caught up in pointless worrying.”

    Levi watches from the shadows as Eren chats with his friends, shares his thoughts and problems. He feels a muddled sense of envy and longing. He’s always distanced himself from others, always fearing that they wouldn’t be around for long. He’s never particularly desired friends before either, always been fine being alone.

    That’s not quite true. He does remember having some friends back in the Training Corps, before most of them died, leaving him. He’d distanced himself from the rest of his friends after that, Hange and Erwin among them.

    He wonders if he can maybe have friends again someday. Him and Eren are already sort of friends. He cares about Eren. That’s what friends do, right? He tries to remember what exactly made his friends his friends, but he can’t remember.

    Of course, right now is no time to be thinking about this. The operation to retake Wall Maria is tomorrow, and the majority will likely not survive. That’s fine. After all, humanity is always the first priority.

    “I know I gave orders to your squad, but you’re staying here Levi,” Erwin says the next day, causing Levi’s heart to sink.

    “You want me to protect the horses, not Eren?” he asks.

    “That’s right, and wait for a moment to kill that thing,” Erwin confirms, pointing at the beast titan. “You’re the only one I can trust to destroy the beast titan.”

    “Understood,” he says after a moment. “I’ll make up for failing to kill that one armored brat earlier by taking that beast’s head off its body.”

    Levi _is_ frustrated about that. He’d been so close to killing that kid. Although he holds everyone to pretty high standards, they’re nothing compared to the standards he holds himself to. He can’t blame anyone else for this failure.

    Though, he wishes there was something a bit more stimulating than cleaning out small fry to distract him from what he’s missing on the other side of the wall. It becomes obvious that something’s off when the beast titan launches a barrel over to the other side of the wall, and his nervousness proves justified when there’s a massive explosion a moment later.

    He isn’t given any time to worry about it because the beast titan starts throwing rocks at everyone. Everyone but Erwin and the recruits are wiped out. The status of the group on the other side of the wall is uncertain, including Eren. Though, not for long. A minute later he’s been launched onto the top of the wall.

    Things look very, very bad.

    “Erwin, if you tell me there’s no way left for us to fight back, I’ll start preparing for defeat. Eren’s sprawled out there, right? Go wake him up. You and some of the others get on him and run. That way we’ll at least have a few survivors,” he says to his commander. “The recruits and survivors from Hange’s squad can scatter on horses all at once and try to head home. How does that sound? With them acting as bait, you and the others on Eren will be able to escape.”

    “And what are you going to do, Levi?” Erwin asks.

    “I’ll deal with that beast. I’ll lead him away,” he proposes.

    “No. You can’t even get close to him,” Erwin replies.

    “Probably not, but if you and Eren make it back alive, there’s still hope,” he says. “Isn’t that the kind of situation we’re in now? This is a major defeat. Honestly, I’m not expecting anyone to make it home alive at this point.”

    “True,” Erwin states. “ **If** we don’t have any way of fighting back.”

    A glimmer of hope runs through him, and he asks, “Do you have one?”

    “Yes,” Erwin admits.

    “Why didn’t you tell me earlier?” he demands. “Why didn’t you put that ugly mouth of yours to work sooner and say something?”

    “If this plan goes well, you may be able to defeat that beast,” Erwin says. “But, only if we sacrifice the lives of all the recruits here, as well as mine.”

    Erwin gives him a second for those words to sink in before continuing, “You’re absolutely right. No matter what we do, most of us will surely die. In fact, it’s most likely that we will **_all_ ** be wiped out. So our only choice is to assume we’re all expendable and work from there. We’d have to ask these young people to give up their lives. You’d need the skills of a first-rate con man to come up with a reason that convincing. So I doubt any of them would charge forward unless I was leading the way. Which would mean I’d be the very first to die, …without ever learning what was in that basement.”

    “Huh?” Levi says, confusion clouding his face.

    He watches disbelievingly as Erwin sighs and sits down, looking defeated.

    “I just want to go to that basement,” the commander admits. “Everything I have done, I did thinking that this day would come. That someday, I would be able to check my answers. There were so many times that I thought it would be easier to just die, but then the dream I shared with my father would flash through my head. And now, those answers are close enough to reach and grab. They are right there. But, Levi, can you see them? All of our comrades? Our comrades are watching us. They want to know what we will do with the hearts they dedicated to our cause. Because they may be gone, but their fight isn’t over.”

    “Is it all nothing more than my own childish delusion?” Erwin asks uncertainly.

    Levi understands. Erwin is finally starting to feel the overwhelming responsible and burden of the position he holds, and it’s crushing him.

    “You’ve fought a good fight,” he says, kneeling before his superior. “We’ve only come this far thanks to you. I’m making the choice. Give up on your dreams and die for us, and I’ll take down the beast titan.”

    Despite all of their sacrifices, Levi fails, again. He gets so close to killing the beast titan, but loses his chance. Eventually, he finds himself left with the decision to save either Erwin or Armin.

    Humanity must always come first. That is his absolute rule. And yet, he chooses Armin. He says it’s to let Erwin rest, but he’s really just being selfish, isn’t he? He’s doing it for Eren.


End file.
